First I want to talk about the things I can't control and why it bothers me when I can't. For instance, I love different FONTS... I like to change my font when the mood strikes me and I like certain ones better than others. I wish there were more to choose from on this blog site.. I don't have very many things left in my life that I can control so it really burns me up when something so small as FONT has to be in the majority... I can not control the weather but it sure has a strange way of changing so that it controls me, or rather how I feel. Daylight Savings Time is another one that has a way with messing with my pain level. I can't control the amount of time I am able to sleep - day time - night time - anytime 4 - 6 hours and it's wake up time. That reminds me, it's time for my meds.... Off my train of thought (again)!! Oh pet peeves...
I can't control my emotions... cry at the drop of a hat... I can't do anything else about anything so might as well cry.. I feel like screaming when I am not crying or trying not to cry.. But what will that get me... WELL we won't go into that one today..
I can't control anything anymore so why try and kid myself into thinking that I can.. I use to be able to multi-task and complete several things at once. Now I am lucky if I remember to take my medicine or eat so that I can take it. My poor animals don't get fed unless I can remember to feed them... Sticky note to self... feed the animals...
Ok so I looked up at the title of my blog today and it says " what day is this"? I started off with a thought and went 360 degrees in the opposite direction... I never know what day of the week it is.. and you can forget asking me the date.... Like I knew that today (Thursday) my sister was leaving to go visit her son and I was on standby to go "house/animal sit" for them if her husband got a call to go back to work. I knew it was Thursday the 24th of March that all of this was suppose to happen. Yesterday I had to ask my husband what day it was because I couldn't remember and as soon as he said it was the 23rd, (now of course you noticed that I asked for the DAY and he tells me the DATE), but it hit me that I knew that it was Wednesday because my sister was leaving on Thursday the 24th. But that is how it is with me, I don't go anywhere so I don't have to know the day or the date.... Any upcoming events go up on the refrigerator door so that I see it several times a day and less likely to forget.
Just got a call from my husband, saying that his elderly mother got a phone call from someone saying that one of our sons was in jail in Canada and needed money. It is NOT true.. it is a SCAM, so beware of phone calls like this one..
Our youngest son just sent me a text asking how I am doing on the pictures that they are requesting to display at their wedding.. I had several obstacles with the pictures and got ready to print them and discovered I was out of photo paper. So I have paper now and here I sit.. time to move.... Happy blogging...
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Ever Wonder if...
Ever wonder if your life is spiraling in a down hill circle and you can't get off? It's like you wake up one day and you wonder where the last 30 years have gone. Your marriage has turned into a war zone or you spend the day ignoring each other. Your children are grown and you love the fact that you have grandchildren even though you are almost 50, over weight, out of shape and your body has betrayed you in more ways than you care to remember.
You try as long as you can to keep a smile on your face so that everyone thinks you are happy and then one day you snap and everyone looks at each other and says, "Where in the hell did that come from?" Chuckling to yourself, you realize that you must have been a better actor than you thought....
Because ... NO ONE seems to get it...
You lost your job because you can't get to work and/or you are not able to do your job when you get there. You look like crap most days and feel like crap EVERY day..
You have something that most people have never heard of and they really don't want to know so don't tell them. The only people that get me are the ones that have it or another disorder or disease just like it.
So here I sit at 3 a.m. alone crunching on carrots and apple slices, well, I am alone, except for my 2 dogs.. who love me unconditionally and take my side on every issue known to man and canine.. HHAAHAAA..
Ok that made me feel better so off to sleep I go.....
You try as long as you can to keep a smile on your face so that everyone thinks you are happy and then one day you snap and everyone looks at each other and says, "Where in the hell did that come from?" Chuckling to yourself, you realize that you must have been a better actor than you thought....
Because ... NO ONE seems to get it...
You lost your job because you can't get to work and/or you are not able to do your job when you get there. You look like crap most days and feel like crap EVERY day..
You have something that most people have never heard of and they really don't want to know so don't tell them. The only people that get me are the ones that have it or another disorder or disease just like it.
So here I sit at 3 a.m. alone crunching on carrots and apple slices, well, I am alone, except for my 2 dogs.. who love me unconditionally and take my side on every issue known to man and canine.. HHAAHAAA..
Ok that made me feel better so off to sleep I go.....
Monday, March 7, 2011
From Positively Positive..
since my fist blog was more of an introduction as to who I am and not as positive and upbeat as I wanted, I thought I would add this more positive thought from:
back; if we throw love, love comes back. If we throw negativity, negativity comes back; if we throw positivity, positivity comes back.
back; if we throw love, love comes back. If we throw negativity, negativity comes back; if we throw positivity, positivity comes back.
Random thoughts... about me..
Hi my name is Susie and I suffer from FIBROMYALGIA!! Although I have blogged before, I have never let anyone read what I have written, after all who would care? Sound familiar?
So as I said, I do have Fibromyalgia and was diagnosed several years ago. I fought the pull of pain and fatigue for many years up until the last few years, it seems to some, I have given up. I still take the medications that my Rheumatologist prescribes, I don't have the energy or desire to do anything. Knowing that I would only be in pain afterwards doesn't give me much want too.
I wanted to try and stay positive in my new blogging experience but today is just not a positive day. So should I put it off for another day? Probably but then again, probably not...
I lost my job almost 2 years ago. A job that I loved but was more stressful than I could handle. It got to the point that my work suffered from lack of energy and the pain in my arms and shoulders. I tried another job a few months later, it was not stressful and the hardest part was getting me there. After the 3rd week, I was let go, business was slow. I had missed 3 out of 16 days of work, but that wasn't brought up in the " I am sorry I have to let you go speech"!! So here I sit, day after day, wondering how I am suppose to go on, or maybe more like how am I suppose to FEEL like it..
I am still LEGALLY married too and still live with my husband of 30 years.. ("that's all I will say about that"). I have 3 sons, the oldest was 8 years old when I married his dad. He and his wife, who is a wonderful daughter-in-law and friend, have 2 sons, who are the most amazing 2 boys on the face of this earth. My second son lives here with us for the time being. His job changed and he is re-grouping. Our youngest is getting married in a couple of months to a wonderful woman and has a daughter that melts your heart at first site. That brings my grandchildren count up to 3. I am SO very proud of all 3 of my sons. They and their families are my main reason for wanting to live. God has blessed me in many ways and I couldn't have picked any better if I could have.
I also have 2 dogs that make up (and TAKE UP) my every day living routine. They are my babies that took me thru the Empty Nest Syndrome which also started about the same time that Fibromyalgia entered into my life. What a wonderful combination, eh? But they love me and give me that UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, that most women desire and don't get from their significant others. They are always happy to see me and even when I am not at my best, they know when it is time for Mama to pet THEM... LOL It's true.. they come to me when I need love and attention, one of them will nudge me to pet them, or snuggle under the covers. I also have a Cockatiel.. She lives in her own world and only lets me know when her food and water bowls are empty. Otherwise, we co-habitate the same space...
My faith in God... has not all together expired but is on the back burner, I guess is a good way of saying it. He didn't change, I did... I still believe and I still pray but for now that is all I am capable of.
Well my Random thoughts blog turned out a little longer than I thought so maybe I will work on it alittle more and see where it leads me. Right now, my arms are starting to ache and its time to readjust.. OH what the heck, here goes.. blog post # 1....
So as I said, I do have Fibromyalgia and was diagnosed several years ago. I fought the pull of pain and fatigue for many years up until the last few years, it seems to some, I have given up. I still take the medications that my Rheumatologist prescribes, I don't have the energy or desire to do anything. Knowing that I would only be in pain afterwards doesn't give me much want too.
I wanted to try and stay positive in my new blogging experience but today is just not a positive day. So should I put it off for another day? Probably but then again, probably not...
I lost my job almost 2 years ago. A job that I loved but was more stressful than I could handle. It got to the point that my work suffered from lack of energy and the pain in my arms and shoulders. I tried another job a few months later, it was not stressful and the hardest part was getting me there. After the 3rd week, I was let go, business was slow. I had missed 3 out of 16 days of work, but that wasn't brought up in the " I am sorry I have to let you go speech"!! So here I sit, day after day, wondering how I am suppose to go on, or maybe more like how am I suppose to FEEL like it..
I am still LEGALLY married too and still live with my husband of 30 years.. ("that's all I will say about that"). I have 3 sons, the oldest was 8 years old when I married his dad. He and his wife, who is a wonderful daughter-in-law and friend, have 2 sons, who are the most amazing 2 boys on the face of this earth. My second son lives here with us for the time being. His job changed and he is re-grouping. Our youngest is getting married in a couple of months to a wonderful woman and has a daughter that melts your heart at first site. That brings my grandchildren count up to 3. I am SO very proud of all 3 of my sons. They and their families are my main reason for wanting to live. God has blessed me in many ways and I couldn't have picked any better if I could have.
I also have 2 dogs that make up (and TAKE UP) my every day living routine. They are my babies that took me thru the Empty Nest Syndrome which also started about the same time that Fibromyalgia entered into my life. What a wonderful combination, eh? But they love me and give me that UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, that most women desire and don't get from their significant others. They are always happy to see me and even when I am not at my best, they know when it is time for Mama to pet THEM... LOL It's true.. they come to me when I need love and attention, one of them will nudge me to pet them, or snuggle under the covers. I also have a Cockatiel.. She lives in her own world and only lets me know when her food and water bowls are empty. Otherwise, we co-habitate the same space...
My faith in God... has not all together expired but is on the back burner, I guess is a good way of saying it. He didn't change, I did... I still believe and I still pray but for now that is all I am capable of.
Well my Random thoughts blog turned out a little longer than I thought so maybe I will work on it alittle more and see where it leads me. Right now, my arms are starting to ache and its time to readjust.. OH what the heck, here goes.. blog post # 1....
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